CON Contact Us DON Donate
Our History General Assembly Worldwide Outreach Ministries Standards Resources

Question and Answer

Seeking God


I have been praying for repentance, saving faith and a new heart for over ten years but I fear that God will not grant it because somehow deep inside of me I do not sincerely want this, thus I was born to be a vessel unto wrath. For the past six months I no longer am able to shed any tears, I feel my heart hardening, and I see the door of my heart is forever sealed. I feel God has given up on me because I quenched my conscience and his Holy Spirit. I feel the Gospel can no longer penetrate my heart.


Providentially, you have contacted someone who also prayed for salvation for many years before the Lord opened my eyes to the true nature of salvation. I had made a profession of faith by going forward in an evangelistic service. However, for years I faithfully attended church but did not believe I was truly saved. I spent a lot of time in prayer, praying for the Lord to change my heart. But I could not stop the praying. Something (someone) kept bringing me back to it. I finally realized that I could not give up on seeking God because He would not let me. Why do you think you have continued in prayer for so long? Could it be that the Lord has a hold of you and will not let you go? I also realized that I truly did believe in what the Bible said. That was why I could not walk away from it.

I also came to realize that Biblical salvation is different than perfection. The church I was attending did not teach perfection, but it did teach that there was a slight chance that once you took Christ as your savior you might lose that salvation. This was only a slight chance but it was a possibility. With time I learned from the Bible that you do not become a Christian because you take Christ as your savior but because He takes you as His adopted child. I had to struggle with doubts until I realized that God already had a hold of me and would not let me go.

I also learned from the Bible that I had to pursue and employ the means of grace God talks about in the Bible: Bible reading, the church, prayer, etc. Through these means I came to understand that repentance was more than feeling sorry for my sin but it was trusting in Christ and what the Bible taught. It meant I had to, with His help, see real changes in my life. I had to get to a church that truly taught the whole counsel of God. This brought me, ultimately, to the Orthodox Presbyterian Church.

There were many difficult struggles in my growing closer to the Lord. I struggled with anger, lust, lying, etc. My help was in what God did in me and what He said in the Bible. In Romans 7 Paul describes his struggle with sin. He was an apostle, an author of divine Scripture, but he still struggled with sin. I could see, and still see, that the struggle with sin lasts until we die and are perfected in Christ (1 Cor. 15). I learned that faith meant following God because he is God not because I have the strength to follow him. Like Paul I often failed but like Paul I found victory in Christ (Rom 8:1).

Therefore, I recommend that you find a good church that preaches the whole counsel of God. This may be abbreviated by seeing if they hold to and declare the system of doctrine summarized in the Westminster Confession of Faith and Catechisms.

I also suggest that you seek counsel from someone in that church, the pastor, a godly elder, or a godly woman (recommended by the pastor or an elder). Again, please do get to a good church and attend regularly. Make friends of the people there and use the tools God has supplied to help you in a more personal way.

Finally, I had to learn that being a Christian is not so much what I felt as what God taught and my obedience to that teaching.

About Q&A

"Questions and Answers" is a weekly feature of the OPC website. The answers come from individual ministers in the Orthodox Presbyterian Church expressing their own convictions and do not necessarily represent an "official" position of the Church, especially in areas where the Standards of the Church (the Scriptures and the Westminster Confession of Faith and Catechisms) are silent.

The questions come from individuals like yourself. If you have questions about biblical and theological matters, you are invited to send them by e-mail by using the "Pose a Question" link on the OPC home page or by clicking here.

At least one new question is posted each week, so there should always be something new here for you to read. (For those people who would like to look at previous questions and answers, they will continue to be available as well.)

The purpose of the OPC website's "Questions and Answers" is to respond to biblical and theological questions. Matters of church discipline, disputes, or debates go beyond the scope of our work. We recommend that you present your concerns in these areas to the appropriate judicatory. In most cases this will be to a local pastor, elder, or session. We do not want the website to replace personal involvement in, or commitment to, the local, visible church.

While we will respond to every serious questioner, we are not bound to give a substantive answer to every question, should we deem the question to be beyond the scope of our purpose or our own ability to answer.

You will receive an answer by e-mail. Please be patient as many of our respondents are busy pastors. The response to your question may take up to two (2) weeks. Some of the questions submitted will be chosen to be posted here, along with the corresponding answers.

Note that the "Questions and Answers" posted on the site have been edited—all personal references are removed, Scripture references or from some source may be added, and sometimes portions are expanded—to make the questions and answers more useful to a larger audience.

© 2020 The Orthodox Presbyterian Church



Chaplains and Military Personnel

Diaconal Ministries


Inter-Church Relations

Ministerial Care

Planned Giving

Short-Term Missions


Church Directory

Daily Devotional

Audio Sermons

Trinity Hymnal

Camps & Conferences

Gospel Tracts

Book Reviews



Presbyterian Guardian